Sunday, January 22

Nancy: Part Two

In my last post, I just told the story of what happened between Nancy and I. I later realized that I never really came to any sort of conclusion. So here it is.

The last time I saw Nancy, I was a freshman in college. From rumors I heard one of her friends (the one who I told about the imaginary boyfriend) had transferred to the university I was at because she had tried to commit suicide at her other university. I was walking on campus during a weekend, and was alone. Nancy must have come to visit her friend because as I was walking I saw the two of them walking together towards me. We passed, I said "hello." A few seconds later I could hear them laughing behind me. It was a sort of laugh that I knew probably had something to do with me, because I had laughed with Nancy like that before.

I hated her then.

I looked back at my high school years and everything that was miserable about them. It was all her fault. I looked at the troubles I was having at the time, and they all seemed to spring from the misery of high school.

I don't hate her anymore.

I still have issues that are probably related to my experience with her. I was once talkative, and friendly. I'm now shy and withdrawn. I don't trust people, and am not near so sure of myself as I would have been.

On the other hand, I am happily married. I have a healthy baby. I have a college degree. I have health and strength. Though I may have been depressed in high school, I'm not depressed anymore. I'm a well adjusted independent adult.

I can see that, had I remained friends with her, my life would have been much different. I don't know what sort of things Nancy did in high school, but the clothes she wore and the friends she kept indicate that her extracurriculars most likely were not entirely wholesome. I can see myself being a better person for the experience I had.

There is a scripture that I read as a senior in high school: Lev. 20:26 "And ye shall be holy unto me: for I the Lord am holy, and have severed you from other people that ye should be mine." When I read this I understood why the whole thing was allowed to happen. I may not understand how, but I know that had I not gone through that mess I would not be the Lord's the way I am today.

1 comment:

Rich said...

I have this theory about heaven that goes something like this:

"In my father's house are many mansions", or cul-de-sacs, where we will find ourselves surrounded by neighbors who are just like we are. If we are selfish, mean-spirited, grumpy, cruel or filthy, guess what -- we get to live next door to people just like that!

On the other hand, if we are compassionate, loving, helpful, kind, friendly, interesting, thoughtful, caring and sweet, our neighbors will be like that.

Makes the judgement a lot easier, don't you think? And certainly fair, as none of us will be able to complain about the neighborhood we land in! So I see Nancy ultimately reaping what she has sown, and life seems fair after all.

Post a Comment